When I had conceived of my wedding in the past, my plans had always been pretty simple. I wanted a big party and a small, simple wedding ceremony. I am never one to stand on ceremony. I figured that, if my bride-to-be agreed, a civil marriage ceremony would suffice. Needless to say, we had very different ideas about what constitutes appropriate wedding ceremonies. As much as I wanted to simplify everything down to the bare minimum, she wanted to complicate things.

The funny thing is that, in all the other aspects of our wedding, we had agreed on things. We have had no problems picking out a wedding chapel, a wedding reception location, or even thank you cards for the gifts that we were going to receive. We are both artists, you see, and it helps that we have the same aesthetic. It makes picking out bridal gowns, wedding centerpieces, and the like much easier. We didn’t even need to hire a wedding planner ? we knew what we wanted things to look like. Nonetheless, when it came down to the actual wedding ceremony, we had no common ground. Our ideas were as different as night and day.

For my fianc?, the traditional wedding ring ceremony was very important. She was in this very difficult position of having to balance the needs of her family with her own needs. You see, her folks were very traditional Catholics. The power of parental denial enabled them to pretend that she was still a practicing member of the faith, but we knew that they would become very upset if we didn’t have a ceremony that was at least nominally Catholic. Nonetheless, she wanted us to write our wedding vows. In short, we had to balance two very different things: a traditional wedding ceremony and a modern mindset where we were able to make our own promises. It wasn’t easy.

In the end, we compromised on the wedding ceremony. I didn’t like the public nature of wedding ceremonies, although I had no problem with the promise of commitment. We decided, then, that we would speak the standard vows in the wedding chapel , and say our own special wedding vows in private. That way, it could be a more sincere, intimate moment. I would say that neither of us were quite happy with it, but no one was so annoyed with the results that it would ruin the day. All in all, it was a pretty good compromise.

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